tired

My group leader has gone to bed. He is healthier than me in the sense that he falls asleep before 1am most days and wakes up early around 7, although he does not eat any vegetables at all.

Can I go to bed too? I'm tired though I slept thru most o my 1.5hour bus journey home, probably because it's now 1.20am and although I'm not as healthy as my group leader I still feel sleepy after 1.

Was in a very bek cek kind o mood just now. Tried to deal w too many things at once. Have got 2 group assignments going on while I tried to finish off the ex's bday present.

Aah. So now he's called "the ex".

Sometimes I feel lonely when I'm not needed. Like noone will notice if I disappear into thin air (highly impossible due to failure o diet).
Today was one o the days when I want to stop the world from depending on me.

I volunteered to compile info cuz I know I can do it well and since I know how everything goes I might as well help distribute the presentation slides. And then everyone starts asking me to explain the compilation as well as their respective presentation details. THAT was why I stepped down (fr being group leader) for the 2nd project, apparently not down enough.

Later Nick started quizzing me about BSci and I realized how much work we still have in order to complete the draft for tomorrow's tutorial. So I called up the file and got swamped from trying to take note o what is missing. I know someone has to look at the overall report and find out what's not where, but could it not be me, tonight? It feels almost like doing an individual project.

And then there's the problem o the ex's present.
Being the person to think and promote this idea is hard enough. Single-handedly I had to look up his friends and explain about needing their help. Alone I tried to make sure everyone sent in the required stuff on time. All the badgering, threatening and pleading... Having to make decisions by myself about printing and arranging is too much! If this is to b a group present, I need help...

I am tired o standing up. I want someone to take charge and tell me exactly what he wants me to do.




What about someone who could willingly freely and constantly listen to my whines, complaints and worries? Nowadays I don't whine as much cuz everyone has their own problems. I try to be the one they lean on.

But I'm tired o being alone. I want someone to stick by my side and go thru my stuff w me..




Yes, I've finally learnt to be independent. But I'm tired..............