*fake smiles*

ahh. I think I remember the quote at the end o my last post.
Gingee the gingerbread man fr Shrek 2 said "Wheezes on you guys".
*nvm ignore this. It's not important*

Another half month since I updated here.. Anything worth blogging?
Hmm... A site visit to Melaka (got slightly sunburnt), running a RM7.00 fine (and still increasing!) in my school library, learning a 7-page new song for Easter, work, work, more work...?
Oh and Caramel gave birth again. lol~ Definitely giving away at least a couple o lil hamsties.


Have learnt to give the fake smile when ppl (who still haven't caught on) tease me about "us", and shrug casually when asked for his whereabouts/well-being. Though I did feel so guilty about carrying on this deception-by-ommission that I actually pulled a guy aside after class and told him that we've ceased to be "us" since a few months ago. Better to embarrass him now than later.

Still struggling to watch my two good friends couple in front o me. I love them lots, they've never complained about having me tag along sometimes, esp when they could tell that I feel lonely, but I don't like being a lightbulb at any time, nor do I feel good about having couples around me. All the loving is making me sour. Yeah, I'm being a selfish friend.

Had to stop myself fr going on a rebound a week or two ago. Kinda hate myself for being weak enough to even consider it. Purlezz. It's not fair nor right for either o us. I'm just lonely and unused to singles life, that's ALL.
Someone once told me it takes double the time you've known a person to forget him/her. Statistics have shown that it takes longer than that for me. Goodness. I've started being "single but not available" exactly 11 mths ago. By this rate I'd b ok by the time I graduate =.=





I don't miss him. I don't feel the need to talk to, text, or see him.
I don't want to organize his birthday celebration, nor his present. Since when have I become the person who knows him best?!
I absolutely DON'T want my friends to make us sit together during lunch, or work together for group assignments... EVER AGAIN. If I'd wanted to appropriate blame it'd be their fault for us rushing into this mess in the first place.






Ok, I admit it. The only reason I've not gone on an all-out hideout fr him is because I don't want him to be alone. I know that the main reason he hangs out w the gang during lunch or for someone's b'day party is because I'd be there.
No boasting/self-promoting intended. It's just a fact.
He's got friends, but social gatherings aren't his thing. He attended his first ever party in uni on my invitation and promise that I'd be there (although he started foundation a year ahead).

This can't go on, I know. He has to learn to hang out and chill more (yes, although I'm no social butterfly I am at least better than him)... No way I could look out for him all the time. Anyway it's none o my business, right?





Sigh. It hurts to carry on like nothing happened w him.
A friend asked how we could still be so close after the breakup? I smiled and told him because.




What I meant to say was because I'm strong.
I emo, I sad, I stand on the studio corridor facing the over-parked carpark and let the wind mess up my hair.
But I'd be ok...





Dear God, THANK YOU so much for every single one o my friends, especially at times like this.
Thank you for bro and sis, although all they did was to force me to play endless games o UNO.
Thank you for the companianship and encouragement fr Kev, Edmund, Angel Dear and Dai2 ZiQing.
Thank you for Michelle and Enoch who've never gave up praying for me.
Thank you for LeySoon who've teased me for "us" all these month.
Thank you for Nicholas, whom I've known for two short weeks but took our friendship for granted.
Thank you for Marcus, who've not said anything but was there w me on my road to more archi knowledge.
Thank you for HuiWei and Peter for being a couple, even in front o me.
Lastly Thank you for the ex/boy/friend, just to show me that I could be strong.









Then again, pls b there for me, dears~
I'm afraid o being lonely.