Nope, no tears

Last day of work today. Walked in 9.25am, sorted my files, answered questions, pretended not to notice preparation for farewell lunch, KFC and pizza in meeting room, departure of bosses. 

Brainstormed, packed, chatted w colleagues, left office en masse, drove to Artisan for coffee. 

More photos, farewells then "1+1+1+1" movie at Tropicana City Mall. Don't watch I, Frankenstein, seriously. Only saving grace being the presence of gargoyles and Gothic cathedrals. 

Wrote the last paragraph and dotted my last sentence of the chapter with a flourish. No tears. My reflections and regrets will come in the epilogue. 

My new book will be coming soon, in slightly more than 2 weeks. Frantically trying to finish writing this one so that I have my ending. Have outgrown my perfect cadence, happily looking forward to my plagal. 

Day of Hibernation

.... just practice for winter when I eventually get there.


I made two trips downstairs today, once for lunch and another for dinner. Never went past the front door at all.
I had plans for today, including the usual church, dating and baking. Thought of baking cookies for office for my farewell gift.


Instead I stayed in bed, sketching when I felt like it, and reading, and dozing.
Had a killer o a headache earlier in the afternoon which turned practically savage after a nap. Fever from lack o hydration and possibly stress/worry/notenoughqualitysleep. Whatever.



Had a long day out ytd, Love & Life meetup in the morning, usual banana leaf lunch and then a wild disconnected trip to Azam's place. I meant I spent over 2 hours, waiting by the road and then getting misdirected by Waze in transit. Had fun anyway, it's been too long since we actually spoke more than hi/bye and almost a year since we last caught up w class gossip. Will we meet again?


I remember being in one o my first group projects in uni year 1, and we had to make a scaled model of an installation. We were one Sabahan, Sarawakian, Sri Lankan, French and finally le local. Now years later, we can laugh over having spent days and days rolling up strips o paper (making this miniature cylinder) to string up and then realizing that we could've just gotten BEADS.

Also memories of being out shopping w a groupmate and walking into Gei Dak Sek (Chinese dessert shop) at ss2 and asking if the noodles contain pork. Lady was like, duh?! Ended up being vegetarian for the day. 

Musings of the day. 

26/1/14, Sarah Magdalene. 

What's the feeling?

.... the kind that comes to you only at night when you're lying in bed telling yourself you have exactly 8 hours to sleep. So fall asleep Sarah. Now. Sleep. But sleep doesn't come and the feeling does. 

Have recovered somewhat from my lil bout of emo, though not completely. I still have things on my mind. Not entirely happy just yet. 

Thank you my Dear for picking me up after dinner and sending me to the mall just to get my stuff. And being patient when I realised I forgot my card (bad Sarah 😠). A little shopping at Tesco and then dessert. Only because I insisted. For being the most indulgent bf ever. Love these impromptu dates. Makes my heart all fuzzy when he says, where you, I come over now can? <33

Researched accommodation today. And packed a little more. Got into disagreement w dad over Baobei. I assure you, bringing panda is not a sign o immaturity. Pls don't be prejudiced against him just because he's a soft toy. I want him w me because he's a piece of home, geddit? It's not my first time away from home (6 years in high sch hostel remember?) and I know homesickness can hit real hard just when you think you're old and mature enough to handle it. Who are you to deny me something to hold on to in a foreign land? I'll find a way to pack him in. Totally. 

Sigh. There goes le tears again. 6 days to end of work. 30 days or less to arriving at my new life. Where there will be noone to wipe my tears for me. Asking me not to cry is futile. I would definitely cry. Just praying God will get me through it like He does in everything else. 

Just get me through a day at a time, ok God? 

But I didn't

... start w Tawau. In a hopeless mood for most of the day, unable to keep my mind on anything useful. My room's a mess and I need to pack/check out accommodation/look up visa requirements/practice piano for mass tmr/read/watch dramas.. But I'm just lying in bed staring at my table.

Was out w ze Dear for some hours in the afternoon, went to get books for his bro and some flip flops for myself. It was a relaxing day out, and I didn't even have to yell at him to keep his eyes on me instead of his phone. Yet all I wanted was to comfort eat (chocolate donuts!), hug him and cry. 

Don't mind me ppl, just lemme curl up and cry. There is always the possibility of a better day tmr. 

This is not good

... not good at all. How did my blog posts dwindle from 50 a year to 15 in the past year??! I love writing. I love talking nonsense to myself on the computer.. don't I?
Writing is therapeutic. It calms the soul, releases stress, trains finger-eye coordination and what-nots. WHY AM I NOT WRITING?? Explains the mess my 2013 was *shrug*
Guess it's thanks to a friend who wanted to read my blog that I realized that I needed to start writing again.

So.. abit of analyzing.. Why did I not write? The easiest explanation being... Work w the capital W. Being an assistant architect means that I sit at my desk for a minimum of 8 hours a day and CAD. What happened to blogging while working like I always do, I hear you ask? Office has blocked blogsites, Facebook and Youtube. Don't ask. But yea.. By the time I get home, I'm fed up of computers, keyboards and the screen, therefore my Macbook has been spending many lonely nights *there there my dear, I still love you*

Well. Now that I'm going back to school I will be blogging again! Hopefully. Will start w the post on Tawau as I promised... way back in 2012. *fingers crossed*







Btw ppl, le blog is now open to the public but not searchable by search engines. Tentative first step.