I'm not a very spiritual person. Praying is more o a habit than a real dialouge w THE Supreme Being. I believe in but don't always practice complete faith in letting God rule my life. I've never actually "heard" an answer to my prayers, it just makes things look better if I prayed.
This is a first.
In d two days since I "heard", I've asked around (and seen some comments fr my friends), and all o them, even my Christian friends, have asked me to think it through. The Devil can sound exactly like God, says Christian friend #1.
I'm still in a confused state. Partly because I kinda know, deep down, that this is what I would've wanted to do. When I broke up w him, it's not that I wanted to leave him, but to take a step back and check if that relationship is what I want. So hearing an "order" to reconcile w d ex might b a figment o my subconscious.
But what if it's not? This is what bothers me d most. It being d first time I had this kind o experience, naturally I want to show God that I am willing to obey Him.
I guess I'm not ready for this kind o faith. I don't want to b tested on my faith and decisions! If it weren't for this episode, I wouldn't have entertained thoughts o reconcilation, even if I've thought o it. Really I won't. Becuz sarah does not like to regret decisions...
Read: Hearing God
The Bible says that dating a non-Christian is wrong, becuz he/she might lead me away fr d Christian life. Guess what, I've a shrewd guess that d "unfinished business" is something to do w me leading my ex to a Christian life. Cuz (when we were together) I've been praying that he'd believe in what I believe in. So convinient huh?
Blah. Utterly lost. Hoping for more divine intervention? Cuz this is just too out o my depth.
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