Shock

It was just a normal night out. Went for dinner, found it was early so detoured to ATM. And then it all happened in a split second. Or rather, I saw it coming but was too chicken to watch. A sharp pain in my ankle (no biggie just a twinge). Then the negotiations in the rain. How I wish I could climb out o the car to hold an umbrella over the men. A slow drive home, stopping by the petrol station to check on damage, and a whispered "don't worry" as I got out. 

How not to worry, he asked? I don't know either. We were young adults, barely able to save just part o our meagre salaries for a rainy day. This does qualify, but what about all the needs and wants that were in queue to be addressed? Electronics, physical comfort, more savings for rainy days. 

I lied. 

Just below the surface I'm quivering in fear. There was no space in my diary for a mistake like this. Already our agenda is full, not just for money but for all other hopes and dreams and aspirations. 

But curl up in a ball to cry I will not. Well maybe I could indulge in some tearing, but there is not time to break down. For my dear and for myself, I must be strong. 

Ps All the while the men were talking, I did not dare leave the car for fear o... Something. Robbery maybe. I had two options, to cry, and noone will blame me for it, or to pray. I prayed for courage, for humility, safety (better late then never), and in thanksgiving. It could've been worse. As it is the impact jolted me enough to make a heart stopping impression, and to think o all the local car jokes, I'm glad we were kept safe physically.