work plan

I will not talk of the tears of yesterday but of puffy eyes this morning.
My comment? >> ugly much =.=


Anyway
Work plan for the next 24 hours:
(mom's)
- minutes
- essay
tbc (to be completed) wed 12pm 

(tourism)
- report
tbc wed 9pm

(studio)
- design concept
- massing strategy (fr precedents)
- spaces + cad
tbc thurs 2am
- form/facade + 3D
tbc thurs 12pm



Dire times.
My thanks to Huiwei and CheeHuey for their care and concern.
Everything is not ok. But they will be.

pre-bday

Never realized one can be plagued by being too contented.
It's my bday tmr, and suddenly I'm excited. I do love receiving wishes fr my friends and family, to unwrap gifts and to accept cards. And the cake, o cuz.


Parents were asking what I want for my bday. Cuz it's customary to give a "大礼" (big gift) for one's 21st bday.
Somewhere deep down there is one little girl who wants everything. But it's the frugal soul that dominates, who refuses to give in to loving materialistic stuff, and to join the world that buys and buys.


I want hugs and cuddles and Chatime and bread pudding.
An sms fr a long-uncontacted friend, a postcard fr overseas.
To snuggle in bed w a good book, or having hot chocolate w marshmallows (well actually Coffee Bean's Red Velvet Cocoa was really good!)

I want a new phone, definitely, sometime in the future
an instant camera I can bring along on my travels
a digital one altho I've taken over dad's now
a charm bracelet I can add on to each year
a necklace w the gold key symbolically giving me my freedom
the new pastel Sharpies cuz they look adorable
SHE's latest album (and some o their old)
a new black dress and the heels to go w it


I want and want and want, but again am scared o the disappointments o reality.
Therefore I settle.






back to my design report. and some coffee if I can get it.
Happy bday in advance, sarah.

Final interim sem 6

Woke up in the morning, called Huey. She sounded like she had barely any sleep and still she whined that she could not finish on time.
I had enough sleep, more than enough actually. And I'm sure I had less panels than she does. Why am I not the one on the verge o tears?


Well actually I am, too. I'm always on the verge o tears =.=
Starting to feel impatient w myself. There's only do or don't do, not do + cry and don't do + cry! Gah.


My thanks to Dear for his "visualization exercise" late last night. It helped, but not for today. Today I'm gnna present my x-amount o panels, w all my work in progress, for pin-up and leave all to God. It's 10 crucial but still only 10 percent.



Just do it!

Back now

A week since my last post, been to Phnom Penh, Cambodia, and back.
Trip was good, experienced a new culture and met alot o really nice ppl. Spent abit o $$ too hehe.


It's my off day tonight. I know I've not done much while away, but I believe I can finish on time. Blatantly refuse to work the night I arrive back home, need this time to 收拾心情, as well as to prepare myself for the real world again.


I've not cried since my promise last Sat, but still get random teary moments. However am learning to catch them before they fall. Drowning my sorrows and worries by linking SHE songs on Youtube tonight. That is perhaps why I love their songs? Not only becuz they sound good, etc, but becuz I draw strength from their voices. 11 years and counting.


2 more days?

听了一整晚的女声，最后选了最后合声翻唱的原唱版收尾。等不到宝贝上网，时差6小时不是盖的。晚安，爱你。

It's so easy to cry

... I'd just drop my defenses for a split second and my eyes would well up. There are times in the day, that I feel like I'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. And that's just my world.
"Be strong," the Dear said. "*snort*," answered sarah.



Big girl, baby, pls don't cry.
Remember your promise, your pretty eyes and your responsibility.
There is time enough, to cry. And this is not it.




Be strong, sarah.
Be strong.

I'm bored

... I don't like being bored.
Design tutorial was slightly stimulating, some parts o it. Finally went to my design tutor, after frequently dismissing him as fairly helpful w suggestions but pretty useless in helping me solve my issues. Well he did help abit, but I've still gtta work out stuff for myself.


My brain is dead, I think it burnt out.
I want nibbles, hugs, warm milk and bed.





Google calender says I've got 3 tasks to complete by today, and 5 more by tomorrow.
I want to take tonight off, please pretty please?

I'm cold

... and I cannot do anything about it cuz the temp on the AC is alrdy at 25C and the other occupant o the room is a warm-blooded male w whom I've always had minor disagreements about the temperature.



I don't know how to design anymore.
I don't want to get lost in making a sensible building.
I don't want to wonder about columns and floor areas.
I don't want to spend alot o time drafting, there is time enough for that.
I want my building to look inviting and interesting and what not.


I want to love my building.
The love for my ideas, the site and the drive to design seems to have lost their GPS coordinates to this point in time.





I don't know what I'm doing, except to build blindly.
God help me.
*goes for nescafe break*